The Passions of Men and Women

Blogspot seems wonderfully designed for longer posts, so forgive me while I indulge.

In the past week or so, some excellent drama has been stirred up between my German friend Silke and her not-exactly-a-boyfriend Collin, an American economist from Chicago. "Excellent drama" is of course defined by the characteristic that it "is not happening to me."

Please enjoy!

It all started when he came on to her, she says. They started dating, but then he said they had to end it. “You’re too young for me; you’ll only end up getting hurt!” she said he said. But they kept hooking up, kept falling into bed together, kept having sex, they did it all. Is that the part that matters?

She said he said he didn’t want them to hook up anymore, that he only liked her as a friend, and the whole time he was saying this, he was holding her hands and kissing her.

Circumstances heated up! First it was Silke's anorexic roommate that was causing damage all around, and then Silke's uncle acquired cancer, and she turned to Collin for comfort. Then Collin's grandmother died, and before he could blink he was on a plane to Denmark to attend a funeral. Silke was there for him all the way, she says. They were closer than ever before.

This was at the end of November. In the middle of December Silke went back to Germany for Christmas. She returned to Kunming at the end of Jauary. Apparently that was enough time for Collin to get lonely . . .

They went to Thailand together (it was a bad idea). They never had sex, just cuddling in the hammock and skinny dipping. Shoshannah was there. When she returned, she said she was sick of Silke’s drama and sick of Collin’s bitching. She didn’t say any more.

Collin told Silke he was seeing another woman, and had been seeing her for awhile. Her name is Nele, she is from Belgium.

Silke fled to Shanghai with her heart broken. She told Collin they were no longer friends and that she didn’t want to see him ever again. He sent her an email.

When she returned from her trip, nothing had healed. Their chance encounters were not friendly.

Then one night, Silke and Nele met at a party, and they sat down and talked and compared notes. They agreed that it was time for Collin to go down.

The next day, Collin in the lobby of our apartment building. Nele came in. We were all meeting and greeting, her eyes were red-rimmed and she looked tired, she looked like she’d been crying. After a few moments of pleasant chatter, she turned abruptly to Collin and said, “We have to talk.” The two of them went upstairs together.

Dylan and I went for food. We came back to find Silke and Lisa in the lobby chatting. Silke didn’t have much time; she was in a hurry. “Where are you going?” “To Collin’s room.” “But Nele is there!” “I know.” “You have to tell me everything.” “I will,” with a wink over her shoulder she was gone.

I started feeling sorry for the guy. Dylan said, “He’s brought this on himself.” We went away; we came back. I got a phone call from Silke. The whole thing didn’t go so well. Maybe it went well, maybe it’s hard to say. The two women ganged-up on him, he was cornered, threatened, and he lashed out. He said some things, some nasty things, he threw Silke out of his room. Nele went with her.

Silke poured the whole story out to me – I was on the phone for an hour and a half. I had a headache when it was done. She said, “Tell everyone.”

Dylan and I went out to dinner with Lisa. I mentioned it to Lisa, but she wasn’t interested. Not her business, not really even her friends. We passed Shoshannah, I mentioned it. She got tight-lipped, and grimaced. We parted company.

Never have I heard Collin’s side of this story. It's possible I never will.

Collin heard from Shoshannah that there was smack being spoken. In his anger, he sent two nasty emails to Silke, she forwarded them to me.

Feeling guilty, Dylan and I emailed Collin to apologize for talking about his private business, somehow that seemd to cool things off.

And now Collin and Nele are "toghether"? Are they? Collin says he's single, Nele's talking about a "distance relationship" after she returns to Beligium in July.

So glad this isn't happening to me!